So, this entry is something a little different than my usual fare, and I hope that's alright with you.
I have a lot of single friends. Now, my friends run the spectrum from elated with their singleness, hooking up randomly, to yearning for a permanent romantic relationship.
For a while, I have been one of the yearners. My friends and I wonder what it is that is keeping us from falling in love and finding our happily ever after. I have recently decided, within the past year, that although I may not always be happy with being single, there are a lot of things about it that make sense at this point in my life. These are things I would like to share with you.
Two of my best friends use the phrase "waiting time is not wasted time." While we may not always abide by this mantra, I think it is a great outlook and something that is very true. Those who are "unhappily single" could benefit from finding the blessing in what they might term a burden. Being alone can be something that is so liberating and give you the time to become who you truly feel you are meant to be in the interim.
A lot of the movies we watch and books we read as typical young women shape our views of the world. We think that we will meet a man by the time we are 25 or so, date for a while, get engaged for a year, have a beautiful wedding and start having children. This frame of thinking is so detrimental to us. People are different. Lives are different. Focusing your energy on a movie-style "happily ever after" is a somewhat futile endeavor. It's not to say that nothing like that ever happens, but to count on it seems ill-advised.
Instead of looking at fictional relationships, as well as the successful relationships of our peers, it might help to look to ourselves. What is it that you truly want? How can you become the best version of yourself? Are you doing things that make you feel happy and fulfilled? Until we can start to answer these tough self-assessing questions, being in a relationship would be a nightmare.
So, I just thought I would share my thoughts with you and leave a thought and a video for you to contemplate tonight...
"You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere."
- Anonymous
SO, be comfortable in your singleness and relish the gift it is to be uncertain. We have an entire life ahead of us that is not tied to any one person. Think about the places you could see or the difference you could make with this gift of time to be solitary. Hold that gift in your heart, and when the time is right, you will get to share the beautiful person that you have helped yourself become with someone who is really worthy.
