I have been spending a large amount of time reflecting on my future recently, and one of the seminaries I am applying to asked me to write an essay outlining my most pressing theological question at this point, as well as a couple answers. I decided to write about something I have been mulling over a lot lately, and I thought I might share it with you guys...
As I prepare my heart and mind for the idea of beginning seminary this year, I am greeted with a myriad of soul-searching questions. The one that keeps coming to the forefront of my mind, however, is the question of how our free will as humans coordinates with God’s omniscience. For as long as I can remember, I have been taught that God has a plan for each of us, a map for our lives, and a time for each gift He bestows. I have also always been under the impression that He is omniscient, knowing our choices before we make them and our innermost desires better than we. In conjunction with these two ideas, there is however a third, and somewhat converse idea. This third idea is the notion of free will, with which humans are able to choose their own fate from many options. If God is this all-knowing father, who cares enough to plan our days, then how exactly can we be free-thinking creations with decisions of our own? Are our choices really “choices,” if they are all merely part of God’s plans for us?
In my meditation on this question, I have come to two possible conclusions. The first of my two answers is based on the idea that God’s omniscience is just that- He “knows” the choices we will make. Perhaps God is aware of the paths our lives will take, as well as the decisions we will make to discern those paths, but there is nothing He can do about our choices. We have options, which are presumably from God, and He allows us to choose, but He does not affect the choice. He merely provides them, and knows which we will inevitably choose. To view God through this lens is somewhat difficult, though, because it paints him as omniscient, but maybe not omnipotent. If He is only aware of our choices, but cannot affect them, is He all powerful? I guess this is where the gift of “free will” comes in to play, though. Maybe God is suspending His omnipotence by giving us the real option of choice. This does not, necessarily, weaken His power, but rather strengthens his benevolent characteristics.
The second option I have for answering this question is one which gives credit to the idea of many paths. Maybe the question of free will and omniscience can be solved by considering that God has many plans for each of us. Maybe as we make our choices, His knowledge of the future changes, and causes him to set another path before us. It is possible that God’s knowledge of our future is dependent upon the choices He allows us to make, and as we choose, the future becomes clear to Him. This would, however, challenge His omniscience, if humans were able to “switch things up” on Him so easily.
Both of these answers are somewhat hard for me to completely comprehend and support, because I have spent most of my life thinking that God has a real plan by which we live our lives. Only lately, have I started taking a hard look at that thought process and found it to be a bit Puritanical. For most of my life, I have felt a call to ministry, and I believe that the idea of that call and vocation have helped me to ignore my reservations on this topic of a “plan.” I absolutely believe that God is involved in our daily lives and choices and I know He has called me to become a servant to His church. I do not, however, believe that I have not had a choice in my own life, or that if I had sat in my home for the past four years of college that any of the wonderful things that have taken place in my life would have happened at all- regardless of God’s plan. We are integral parts of “the plan.” We are the decision-makers and the catalysts for the things God has in store for our lives. Without our free will, God would merely be controlling His creation, rather than allowing it to flourish.
In conclusion, this question of free will and omniscience remains just that- a question. These two potential answers may each hold a bit of truth, but I, as a human, cannot know the ways of God. I hope that in coming to seminary, I will gain insight into the heart of God and the way in which He shepherds his flock. I also hope that as I continue in this process of discernment, that God and His plan for me will be present and active, as I use the gift He has given us all, and make a choice.
I am so looking forward to this next adventure in my life, and I couldn't ask for more as far as choices go. My cup runneth over. (not part of the essay, lol)
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Das Licht des Geists
I haven't written for quite a while. I would like to say it's because I have been so busy, but we all know that wasting time is one of the things I have been "busy doing." So, I have returned to the blogosphere to write an entry on what I have been feeling recently.
As finals week approaches, so many find themselves in the throes of anxiety and stress over final projects, capstones, events, grades, and general frustration. My roommate Michelle and I have decided that we are tired of caring so much and would rather be happy individuals than pull our hair out over silly things like grades. Instead, we plan to do our best but not be stressed and just accomplish what we can, while leaving time for more important things-like happiness.
This semester has been one of transition for me. I came back to school feeling like a college student, ready to get to work and just get "it" over with. I did my senior recital, I planned a choir tour, I applied and was accepted to a few seminaries, I filled out paperwork for my future, I worked with my a cappella group, and I started serving a new ministry at my church. It's funny how when we start to focus on tasks instead of inner emotion how much God does within us without our knowledge. In the wake of my responsibilities, I feel more mature, but I also feel a peacefulness.
Of course, I am human and feel frustration and anxiety, but the thing that outweighs those feelings is one of release. I know that God has planned our days, and I am just so grateful to be living them. I have been able to breathe more deeply, enjoy my relationships, forge new friendships, and worry less about what's going on in my "stressful" life and just enjoy it instead!
The Advent season has arrived, and this year, I feel prepared to experience what God offers. Preparation and focus are two parts of Advent, when we wait for the coming of the Lord. As most who know me are aware, I LOVE Christmas, but I think I almost like Advent more. Waiting, preparing, watching, and cherishing are things that are exciting to me this year. I want the peace and wonderment I feel to continue throughout the months of December and January, allowing for reflection and love.
So, if you, as you read this little blog post are feeling a little stressed just take a minute and invite the peace. If you aren't religious, that's okay, just invite your soul to be calmed and meditative.
And, last but not least, here are some things I am listening to:
"Christmas Time"-Phil Wickham
"Turning Page"-Sleeping at Last
"Take Care"- Drake
"Grow Till Tall"-Jonsi
So, listen to some songs and take a moment to quiet yourself. It is worth it.
As finals week approaches, so many find themselves in the throes of anxiety and stress over final projects, capstones, events, grades, and general frustration. My roommate Michelle and I have decided that we are tired of caring so much and would rather be happy individuals than pull our hair out over silly things like grades. Instead, we plan to do our best but not be stressed and just accomplish what we can, while leaving time for more important things-like happiness.
This semester has been one of transition for me. I came back to school feeling like a college student, ready to get to work and just get "it" over with. I did my senior recital, I planned a choir tour, I applied and was accepted to a few seminaries, I filled out paperwork for my future, I worked with my a cappella group, and I started serving a new ministry at my church. It's funny how when we start to focus on tasks instead of inner emotion how much God does within us without our knowledge. In the wake of my responsibilities, I feel more mature, but I also feel a peacefulness.
Of course, I am human and feel frustration and anxiety, but the thing that outweighs those feelings is one of release. I know that God has planned our days, and I am just so grateful to be living them. I have been able to breathe more deeply, enjoy my relationships, forge new friendships, and worry less about what's going on in my "stressful" life and just enjoy it instead!
The Advent season has arrived, and this year, I feel prepared to experience what God offers. Preparation and focus are two parts of Advent, when we wait for the coming of the Lord. As most who know me are aware, I LOVE Christmas, but I think I almost like Advent more. Waiting, preparing, watching, and cherishing are things that are exciting to me this year. I want the peace and wonderment I feel to continue throughout the months of December and January, allowing for reflection and love.
So, if you, as you read this little blog post are feeling a little stressed just take a minute and invite the peace. If you aren't religious, that's okay, just invite your soul to be calmed and meditative.
And, last but not least, here are some things I am listening to:
"Christmas Time"-Phil Wickham
"Turning Page"-Sleeping at Last
"Take Care"- Drake
"Grow Till Tall"-Jonsi
So, listen to some songs and take a moment to quiet yourself. It is worth it.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Liebe
Love. L O V E.
To me, this is the most beautiful word in the English language. For some people, love is impossible to give, for others impossible to receive. But love is a gift. It is given freely and without reservation. There are no strings attached to love, it carries no connotation. It is merely love. Pure and unadulterated.
You may wonder why I am writing this, and to be honest, I am not entirely sure. I have been filling out my seminary applications recently and spending a lot of time meditating on my "statement of faith."
In this "statement," I have to write about the people who have shaped my faith, the places I want to take it in my future, what the crux of my faith is. I keep coming back to that one word though: love. I just want to write that I love God, that his love lives in me, and because of it, I am able to fully love other human beings.
When I talk about loving, I do not mean romantic love. I mean agape. The love of others, mankind, the human race, the world. I know that I may be an idealist, but really, what's so wrong with that? I think it is possible for one person to make a difference, and I KNOW that the most powerful thing in our world is the love one person can have for another. Compassion and kindness are outpourings of this love, they are love manifest.
So, wouldn't it be awesome if instead of the time we put into sarcasm (myself included), or unfriendliness, or even romantic love, we reserved a small portion of that time to let the love within ourselves multiply? If one person can truly change the world, just THINK what the love of many could do. Give it a try, be a prism, and let your light shine into the darkness, your love blazing forth- a marvelous light.
Love others. Love yourself.
To me, this is the most beautiful word in the English language. For some people, love is impossible to give, for others impossible to receive. But love is a gift. It is given freely and without reservation. There are no strings attached to love, it carries no connotation. It is merely love. Pure and unadulterated.
You may wonder why I am writing this, and to be honest, I am not entirely sure. I have been filling out my seminary applications recently and spending a lot of time meditating on my "statement of faith."
In this "statement," I have to write about the people who have shaped my faith, the places I want to take it in my future, what the crux of my faith is. I keep coming back to that one word though: love. I just want to write that I love God, that his love lives in me, and because of it, I am able to fully love other human beings.
When I talk about loving, I do not mean romantic love. I mean agape. The love of others, mankind, the human race, the world. I know that I may be an idealist, but really, what's so wrong with that? I think it is possible for one person to make a difference, and I KNOW that the most powerful thing in our world is the love one person can have for another. Compassion and kindness are outpourings of this love, they are love manifest.
So, wouldn't it be awesome if instead of the time we put into sarcasm (myself included), or unfriendliness, or even romantic love, we reserved a small portion of that time to let the love within ourselves multiply? If one person can truly change the world, just THINK what the love of many could do. Give it a try, be a prism, and let your light shine into the darkness, your love blazing forth- a marvelous light.
Love others. Love yourself.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Ich weiss nicht.
I am a thinker. I plan it out. I take a breather. I do not jump into things without knowing they are good and right choices. So, why did that change all of a sudden? I like being the type A Delaney. Now I feel like I am holding on for dear life. I think I could use some peace and some Godly direction. Maybe I should just open my ears and eyes, huh?
I worry a lot. Whether this is a blessing or a curse, i do not care. It is merely a fact of who I am. I don't like to make people unhappy, in fact I say yes to most people so they will be happy. I just feel sort of loss. i think I would like very much to sit in my room and do stuff I want to do for a couple days. that's not how the world works though, is it?
I worry a lot. Whether this is a blessing or a curse, i do not care. It is merely a fact of who I am. I don't like to make people unhappy, in fact I say yes to most people so they will be happy. I just feel sort of loss. i think I would like very much to sit in my room and do stuff I want to do for a couple days. that's not how the world works though, is it?
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Was mache ich jetzt?
I have been planning for as long as I can remember. I know what I want to be and I know the things that matter to me. I have always known that I was going to go to college. For quite some time I have known that college would be followed by seminary. I feel that God wants me to be a servant to his people and his church. I know all of that.
I have always known that I want to be kind, I want to be strong and love fiercely like my mother, I want to be smart and helpful like my father. I want to say how I feel like my sister. I want to be brave like my brother. I have always wanted to make the world a better place and be the best friend I can be to those I love.
I feel lucky to know the things I want and the person I aim to be. My life has been shaped by the creator and those around me, and here I find myself at a precipice looking out over the expanse of my future as I start my senior year of college. I have choices to make. I feel like I'm going off script. I have started wondering things like, "what will my future look like?" "What talents do I have to serve God and his people?" "Where should I go from here?" I always thought uncertainty was terrifying, but I have started to see that it's actually really exciting. I GET to make these decisions.
Curve balls have become a welcome guest, and at this point in my life, where things seem to be full of possibility, the thing I have been praying for finally walked in from stage left. I know I mixed metaphors a lot, but I really feel like anything could happen right now. That used to scare me, but now I am only excited.
And because I have been slacking lately on my music, here you are, my few readers:
"Murder in the City"- The Avett Brothers
"Famous Flower of Manhattan"- The Avett Brothers
"Super Bass"- Nicki Minaj
"Every Teardrop is a Waterfall"-Coldplay
"Sister Rosetta"-Noisettes
Be happy. There's a plan in the works.
I have always known that I want to be kind, I want to be strong and love fiercely like my mother, I want to be smart and helpful like my father. I want to say how I feel like my sister. I want to be brave like my brother. I have always wanted to make the world a better place and be the best friend I can be to those I love.
I feel lucky to know the things I want and the person I aim to be. My life has been shaped by the creator and those around me, and here I find myself at a precipice looking out over the expanse of my future as I start my senior year of college. I have choices to make. I feel like I'm going off script. I have started wondering things like, "what will my future look like?" "What talents do I have to serve God and his people?" "Where should I go from here?" I always thought uncertainty was terrifying, but I have started to see that it's actually really exciting. I GET to make these decisions.
Curve balls have become a welcome guest, and at this point in my life, where things seem to be full of possibility, the thing I have been praying for finally walked in from stage left. I know I mixed metaphors a lot, but I really feel like anything could happen right now. That used to scare me, but now I am only excited.
And because I have been slacking lately on my music, here you are, my few readers:
"Murder in the City"- The Avett Brothers
"Famous Flower of Manhattan"- The Avett Brothers
"Super Bass"- Nicki Minaj
"Every Teardrop is a Waterfall"-Coldplay
"Sister Rosetta"-Noisettes
Be happy. There's a plan in the works.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
diskutieren
Today I want to chat a bit about something that has been driving me crazy as of late: self-centeredness.
There are so many things going on in the world at large and the world in your personal sphere of influence, maybe it's time to learn about it. Quit thinking all of your "woe is me" thoughts, stop thinking of what you want to say when the person who is talking finishes their thought, and PLEASE stop thinking that just because you are not the topic at hand, that the topic doesn't matter.
Now, does this mean that I don't care if you have a problem? Of course not! I care. Talk it out.
Does this mean that I think it's fair of you to only talk about yourself and all of your "issues"? NO.
Ask someone a question about themselves and then while they're answering, LISTEN. Do NOT start thinking of how you can relate what they are saying to yourself or of anything really other than focusing on what's being said. If you really don't give a flying flip what the person is saying to you, then don't ask. That's your thing, but it's rude to expect others to become your personal sounding board when you don't lend an ear or even ask anything about their life.
So, I am sorry for the rant that this has become. But in closing I would like to say one thing:
People matter. By talking only of yourself and your interests, that small fact is not apparent to the listener. So, make sure they know you care, and let them talk and teach yourself to listen. I am sure you will be happy you did.
No music today, sorry.
There are so many things going on in the world at large and the world in your personal sphere of influence, maybe it's time to learn about it. Quit thinking all of your "woe is me" thoughts, stop thinking of what you want to say when the person who is talking finishes their thought, and PLEASE stop thinking that just because you are not the topic at hand, that the topic doesn't matter.
Now, does this mean that I don't care if you have a problem? Of course not! I care. Talk it out.
Does this mean that I think it's fair of you to only talk about yourself and all of your "issues"? NO.
Ask someone a question about themselves and then while they're answering, LISTEN. Do NOT start thinking of how you can relate what they are saying to yourself or of anything really other than focusing on what's being said. If you really don't give a flying flip what the person is saying to you, then don't ask. That's your thing, but it's rude to expect others to become your personal sounding board when you don't lend an ear or even ask anything about their life.
So, I am sorry for the rant that this has become. But in closing I would like to say one thing:
People matter. By talking only of yourself and your interests, that small fact is not apparent to the listener. So, make sure they know you care, and let them talk and teach yourself to listen. I am sure you will be happy you did.
No music today, sorry.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Entspannt.
Hello all!
I trust this entry finds you all relaxed and well. I know that is how I am feeling this summer- relaxed. Not even bored like other summers where I spend a lot of time sitting around. I am merely relaxed. I have been spending this month of July in Kirksville working at the housing office at school and really just chilling with my roommates and my friends. I can't say that all the things leading to this decision to come here were great blessings, but I can say that being away has some perks.
So far, this summer, I spent about a month in Europe, had soooo much fun at home with my mom and sister, and now am leisurely making money and sleeping in. So, this blog entry is devoted to happiness and relaxation. It's time to slough off those mid-July boredom blues and find something fun to do!
You could...
See a play
Take an art class
Get a tan
Start dancing in your underwear every morning
go on a bar crawl
Go to a museum
Wander around a park
Eat ice cream
Make a new friend
The possibilities are endless! So, why not enjoy your freedom in the summertime and find something new to do instead of sitting on your couch. I am sure you won't regret it.
In the way of my blog, here is some music for you. I have been enjoying country this summer, so here are two country songs. These two are, ironically married to one another!
ENjoy! Love you all.
I trust this entry finds you all relaxed and well. I know that is how I am feeling this summer- relaxed. Not even bored like other summers where I spend a lot of time sitting around. I am merely relaxed. I have been spending this month of July in Kirksville working at the housing office at school and really just chilling with my roommates and my friends. I can't say that all the things leading to this decision to come here were great blessings, but I can say that being away has some perks.
So far, this summer, I spent about a month in Europe, had soooo much fun at home with my mom and sister, and now am leisurely making money and sleeping in. So, this blog entry is devoted to happiness and relaxation. It's time to slough off those mid-July boredom blues and find something fun to do!
You could...
See a play
Take an art class
Get a tan
Start dancing in your underwear every morning
go on a bar crawl
Go to a museum
Wander around a park
Eat ice cream
Make a new friend
The possibilities are endless! So, why not enjoy your freedom in the summertime and find something new to do instead of sitting on your couch. I am sure you won't regret it.
In the way of my blog, here is some music for you. I have been enjoying country this summer, so here are two country songs. These two are, ironically married to one another!
ENjoy! Love you all.
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